What Matters most?

Lots of research last night.

My principal goal is to lower my blood pressure, so what matters most?

Smoking, obviously.  Apart from the night terrors, that is going surprisingly well.  My biggest problem is a sense of loss I don’t know how to cope with.  I want a smoke – I can’t have a smoke – I want something to cheer me up – I can’t have anything.

In the past I have tackled nicotine cravings by eating whatever I want. But I can’t this time. …..  Aghhhh!

Second after smoking is weight loss.  No quick fixes here but I need to lose weight AND exercise, cos improving my fittest is the third most crucial issue.

But I am motivated and I’m really proud of myself for not smoking, so this gives me the strength to believe I can do more.

Another shaky walk around the park tonight and I felt like crying – I felt so old and pathetic.

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