Flammarion waits for Enoch

“I know a man in Christ who fourteen years ago
was caught up to the third heaven. “

2 Corinthians 12:2

Enoch will be along soon.

I’ll wait outside, and look at the sky, and remember what we spoke of last time.

I still have the broken blue egg shell.
I lie on my back and hold it to the sun.

Yes, it is the same flat blue of the  sky on a cloudless day.

Today there are clouds, bringing the sky closer.
Will they come so close that the sky falls, watering the ground?

“Is the sky water?” I asked Enoch.
For it is the colour of the sea and lakes I have seen
and as changeable in its blues and greys.
And water falls from it.

Enoch says this is the first heaven that we see.
Ruled by the sun of light and heat.

Then what of night?
When the sky is drawn back,
revealing sparking treasures,
far above.
And glorious silken folds of crimson
herald their arrival each evening
and announce their departure each morn.

The sun has gone and with it its heat,
so the water in heaven turns to crystals of
ice and twinkles in the light of the solemn moon;
waiting for the sun king to return.

That, says Enoch, is the second heaven.

But there is the third heaven that Enoch knows.
Perhaps only Enoch knows.

He tells me it lies between corruptibility and incorruptibility
That it holds the Tree of Life,
the source of knowledge.

And two springs,
one milk, one honey.
But then two others,
one oil, one wine.
Which is four, not two.
But Enoch says two.

But how does Enoch know?

He says he has been there.
To argue with Azazel
about the way women
paint their eyebrows.

Which seems such a trivial matter to discuss with an archangel, but I know there was more;  I just can’t remember it all.

The first heaven hides the second heaven.
Its blue veil is drawn back with a flourish,
momentarily revealing its scarlet lining  each evening.
Then the second heaven appears.

Enoch says we see the first and second heavens because God wants us to think, and to realise there must be more.

The second heaven hides the third.
But we can  see it only by invitation.
If I understand Enoch rightly.
Which probably, I don’t.

But oh, what joy!
To lie here on my back,
gazing at the blue above
and the egg shell in my hand
and wait for Enoch
so we can talk
and wonder some more
at our God’s creation.


“What intelligent being, what being capable of responding emotionally to a beautiful sight, can look at the jagged, silvery lunar crescent trembling in the azure sky, even through the weakest of telescopes, and not be struck by it in an intensely pleasurable way, not feel cut off from everyday life here on earth and transported toward that first stop on the celestial journeys? What thoughtful soul could look at brilliant Jupiter with its four attendant satellites, or splendid Saturn encircled by its mysterious ring, or a double star glowing scarlet and sapphire in the infinity of night, and not be filled with a sense of wonder? Yes, indeed, if humankind — from humble farmers in the fields and toiling workers in the cities to teachers, people of independent means, those who have reached the pinnacle of fame or fortune, even the most frivolous of society women — if they knew what profound inner pleasure await those who gaze at the heavens, then France, nay, the whole of Europe, would be covered with telescopes instead of bayonets, thereby promoting universal happiness and peace.”

Camille Flammarion, 1880

Angel Voices

Softly she slips into church
she has only come here to hear
the children who sing in the choir
their voices so crystalline clear

She knows all the people by name
they greet her with nods and broad grins
but she doesn’t believe their believing
and she doesn’t believe in their “sins”

The voices of children ring sweetly
singing of peace and of love
as the people wine-sipping and kneeling
give praises to something above

But she’s only here for the beauty
all the rest is simply nonsense
to join in would be, well, hypocrisy
she will stick with good old common sense

As the voices crescendo and sparkle
and the cadences make her heart melt
purest joy, purest peace she is feeling
as complete now as ever she’s felt

She says that the voices are angels
she says that the singing’s divine
but what has it to do with this breaking of bread
and this delicate sipping of wine?

She sits there surrounded by glory
bathed in the light of life-force
enjoying the joy of her Sunday
but ever ignoring its source.

EVERYTHING CHANGED

It was all very well for mother to say “God will provide” as she sat listlessly on the edge of her bed, tired and weak, but surely it was he who was doing the providing!

Up before dawn, walking in the frosty morning air to the shore.
Digging in the cold mud by the ligtht of his small lamp for worms that seemed as listless as he felt and unlikely to wriggle enough to attract the interest of any curious fish.

But he had caught fish.
Twelve of them in all.
Ten of them a fairly good size but two that were just tiddlers.

By mid-morning he was in the local market place, bartering his 10 best fish.
A nice looking lady seemed to take pity on him and had offered him a barley loaf for 2 fish, well above the normal going rate, but he suspected she could see his own hunger and his anxiety.

Tramping back across the hills, the boy was pleased with his morning’s work, but still resentful.
How he wanted to go to school and learn, like his friends, about the whole wide world.

But his mother was sick and his father had been away for months; may even be dead for all anyone knew.
There was only him to head out each morning to find food for his sick mother and baby sister.
He sighed, looking down at his own dirty bare feet as he walked, lost in his own miserable thoughts, as he transferred his heavy basket to the other shoulder.

“Today I caught a fish
tonight we’ll eat the fish
and give thanks to God
for his provision
so that tomorrow
I have may the strength to
to catch another fish.
Oh hell!”

As he crested a small hill he saw a crowd.
What was this?
The boy immediately thought a fisherman must have drowned and this must be his funeral.
But as he grew closer he heard the voices – happy, excited, chattering with joy.

“He’s here!
Come see!
Gather ’round
all Galilee!”

Who was this man at the centre of the crowd?
He began to speak; not loudly, but with certain authority.
A hush fell across the crowd.

Yet the boy
was still far off
and could not
hear the words.

But it must be important.
Looking at all the faces, men and women, old and young, all gazing it rapt attention, desperate to hear more.

Finally, the boy was close enough to hear, but all the man said was “You are hungry my friends. Let us share our food”.
Then the crowd began to murmur, and the murmuring turned to grumbling, and it became clear that nobody had any food.

At that moment a huge, tall man with a long curly beard spoke directly to the boy.
“Will you share what you have in your basket?” he asked.

The boy looked at the man, felt the warmth of his smile, and was unable to reply.
He’d worked hard for this food. his mother and his sister needed this food.
How could he share it with strangers and go home with an empty basket?
How could this man even ask?

As if reading his mind, the bearded man knelt down so that his eyes were level with the boy’s.
He pointed to the man at the centre of the crowd; the one they had all come to see, and said.

“Do you know who this is?
He is the Son of God.
Whatever you give
will return to you
a thousand-fold”

“But my mother is sick,
and my sister is poorly.
What I carry
is ALL
they will eat for a day”

“Your family will be fed and your family will be well”. the man replied.

He seemed so confident in his words.
He knew the truth of this miracle man who needed his fish and his barley loaves to feed his friends.

It seemed so little to give,
when so many were hungry.
But it was all he had.
And he had worked hard for it.
And would again tomorrow.

“And would again tomorrow … ” unless SOMETHING happened!
unless something changed.

He remembered the words of his own father, as he went away, seeking work, somewhere,  a pack slung across his back:

“If you never take a risk, nothing ever changes.”

He looked at Andrew (for that was his name) and Andrew looked at the boy, struggling with his decision.

“Yes”, said the boy
eventually
“of course
the Son of God
may have
my fish and bread”

And he handed over the basket.

And everything changed!

For Sandie – an agent of change (John 6:6)

Integrity (for Libby, who helps me unpick)

To integrate
in every way
in action, thought and deed,
Being your own purest, pure truth
is a perilous path indeed!

We start to die
from our truest self
in infancy as we grow
to see ourself
through other’s eyes
rated higher than
our own.

There seems to be
so very much
that needs to be unspun.
To pare back to
the delicate core
picking the complex pattern
undone.

Integrity is all in one
the same in every way.
being truly who we are
in every place
on every day.

With no pretence
but speak your truth
to everyone you see.
Take your time
to form your words
to speak
in honesty.

There’s nothing harder
you can do
than peel back the bark.
And every time
a bit comes off
you feel  little spark.

The bark is the hardest
work of all,
exposing little wounds,
that made you who you are today
but the sparks
are tiny blooms.

We compromise
our own true self
from the moment we can speak,
Intent on pleasing others
for the approval
that we seek.

It’s a stage within a cycle
As I grow older
I care less
for the opinions of the people
I grew tough bark
to impress.

(for Libby, 2015)

Purls

I’m knitting a scarf for my grandson
and thinking of him as I do
the joys and the giggles he gives me
The fun of just watching him grow

There’s yellow for sunshine and laughter
and green for all nature’s excess
red  for power, blue for calm, mauve for dreaming
and orange for heart’s happiness

Every new stitch forms a kiss
and every new row a new prayer
I’m knitting my grandson a rainbow
all knotted in loving and care.

(for Jensen, Cameron and Patrick, 2013)

Epiousios

Epiousios (Ancient Greek: επιούσιος) is a unique Greek word found only in the Lord’s Prayer in the Gospels of Matthew  and Luke, and nowhere else in all of classical Greek writings.

It has been translated to mean “daily” as in “our daily bread”, but perhaps we devalue the word and the concept when we think, metaphorically or literally, as this being a prayer for sustenance.

If the New Testament writers had meant “daily” there were more common words the could have used than epiousios, so it must have some distinct and special meaning above and beyond “daily”.

If Epi means necessary or essential, and Ousia means to physically exist, then Epiousia can be taken as necessary for existence, and Epiousios becomes that element that is necessary for existence.

If we think of this in terms of a creator, do we owe just our original manufacture to the creator, or is the creator responsible for maintaining ongoing reality as we know it?

Does reality exist independent of God, or is reality the ongoing product of God.

Are we God’s dreaming?  Are we products of God’s mind?  Is this the concept the word is attempting to express?

Be the Goodness

There is goodness in every heart – I have seen it.
The world is not the way the media would have us believe.

We do not need to live in fear.
Choose not to!

Choose to see the loving hearts that make the world a better place.

See the people who care for each other without expecting a reward.
Notice your fellow travellers.
Glimpse the beauty and the courage in every soul.
See the goodness of this world.

Be the goodness of this world.

be-the-goodness

As We Forgive?

“as we forgive those who sin against us…”

These simple words, they ring and sing
From praying mouths and hearts.
Those words engraved upon my soul.
Since I was four, or there abouts.

I learnt “trespass against us” then,
And made me think of signs
Saying “Keep off the Grass” in public spots
And I worried about fines.

My own grass has been trampled on
Quite wrecking tender roots.
With no regard for the damage done,
In spiky heels and steel capped boots.

At times it’s been a muddy mess,
And I’ve been cross and hurt.
How dare they not see what they did,
When they turned my lawn to dirt!

It’s easy to be resentful.
Hoping that one day
Those tramplers see what they have done
And find the words to say…

A simple “sorry” from the heart.
It would make me feel much better.
But would it fix my muddied lawn?
Would I then forgive the debtor?

If I do not myself forgive,
Who is it that I punish?
It’s only me who grieves the loss
And my resentment will not vanish

I wonder if the disciples knew
When they asked Jesus how to pray,
If he would tell them to search their hearts
To see where the answer lay.

For it is only in forgiveness
That we can be whole and healed
And God’s forgiveness is by Grace.
But our own is deep concealed.

The muddy mess recovers now,
As tender shoots push through.
Bathed in the sunshine of God’s love,
And the gentle, moistening dew.

Perhaps the grass that’s growing now
Is stronger than the last.
Perhaps adversity will serve
To find redemption from the past.

But I cannot just sit and wait
And hope for the repair.
I must rake and feed and water and trim
And work through the despair.

Forgiving others? That’s truly tough.
I really want to do it.
So I sit with Jesus by my side
Holding my hand, as I work through it.

What is Prayer?

I think prayer is sometimes a misunderstood word and can be confused with worship (veneration) and meditation (listening).

The Latin root word is precar meaning something lent to be returned later, and from which we also get words such as precious (valuable and undeserved) and precarious (relying upon another).

Prayer is rooted in the concept of grace and dependence.

In French it became prierius which refers to the idea of something being dependent on the good grace of somebody else.

This helps to make more sense of the Hebrew word Tefilah (תפילה) which is usually translated as prayer.

Tefilah is an intimate sharing of heart and soul – communion – reaching deeper and deeper and finding God in that extreme honesty.

Tefilah is derived from the root Pe-Lamed-Lamed and the word l’hitpalel, meaning:

“to judge oneself”!

This word origin provides insight into the purpose of prayer. The most important part of any prayer is the introspection it provides, the moment that we spend looking inside ourselves, seeing our role in the universe and our relationship to God.

Prayer is 2 way communication between yourself and God and it doesn’t need to be vital, important stuff. It can be as banal as most Facebook chatter but it is rooted in the concept that we talk to God because we know that we are utterly dependent upon him for our existence and, just as we talk to humans upon whom we are dependent, we get joy from the communication.

circe-invidiosa-1892-oil-on-canvas

We talk to God with extreme honesty, and sometime that honesty takes time and courage to discover.

We sometimes have very powerful self-protective barriers that can hide the truth from ourselves and these can take considerable time and energy to break down.

God is so often described as TRUTH, it seems redundant to again assert that God is Truth.

Yet that is where God is to be found, in the truth, in the real and the objective core.

So when I prayer, I pray to be enlightened by the truth, even when it is painful, and I rub away diligently at the dirty marks and smudges that hide the truth from me.

I pray in order to judge myself, and in doing so, I am set free by the truth, and there is God.